A Modern Florence Nightingale

Grandma's aspirations.

Before she had kids, and before she met my grandpa, and before she was married, my grandma had aspirations of becoming a nurse. I can’t be sure if these aspirations began before or after she saved her step-brother, Art, after he fell through a cellar window in their home in Hyde Park, New York. My grandma was credited with saving Art’s life, although he would lose part of his arm. A newspaper article in the Harlem Valley Times, dated May 16, 1940, states:

The modern Florence Nightingale in the drama unfolded at Smith’s house early Tuesday night was Jean Dolfinger, honor pupil in the eighth grade of the Hyde Park School. It was Miss Dolfinger’s calmness and medical knowledge that prevented the boy from bleeding to death after he had nearly severed his left arm by accidentally plunging it through a cellar window of his home.

Having never met my grandma, I am left to piece together her life through pictures, newspaper articles, and stories from my family. This story, and the events that followed, are ones that were retold time and time again. That grandma saved Art’s life and that Eleanor Roosevelt, living just two miles down the road, caught wind of it and paid for a semester of grandma’s nursing school. This part of the story is not documented and I cannot find proof of it anywhere, but I am choosing to believe it. My grandma was deserving of that praise, especially since she was the one giving praise to her step-brother after the incident. Grandma wrote to the local newspaper:

We would like to have this put in the Evening Star. The neighbors of Arthur, on the East Park road, would like to tell of Arthur’s bravery. Even though the boy lay there with his arm nearly off, he was smiling for his mother's sake. Before help arrived, he held his own arm to stop the flow of blood as much as possible and yet he never made a sound. Mr. and Mrs. James Van Wagner, Mr. and Mrs. R. Herman, Jean Dolfinger and everybody who was there, all agreed, that a man of 20 to 30 couldn't have taken it better than this boy of 16. We are all proud of Arthur Smith. Arthur has improved greatly since the operation.

After she saved Art’s life and after Eleanor Roosevelt (maybe) contributed to Grandma’s nursing school, Grandma enrolled in the United States Cadet Nurse Corps. According to a 2000 New York Times article, the Cadet Nurse Corps was established to fill the nursing shortage left by WWII. Close to 180,000 women were recruited between 1943 and 1945, but within that time around 56,000 women left the program.¹ My grandma was one of them.

My family didn’t know that grandma joined the Cadet Nurse Corps or that she eventually left; it’s crazy what you can uncover when you start searching for answers. I found grandma’s membership cards on Ancestry.com; form 300A and, a less detailed, 300B. Although 300B is not dated, it turns out these were only used before May 1944 - leading me to believe this form was completed on or around grandma’s high school graduation date. On 300A, grandma’s name is printed; clearly by a typewriter. Her signature sits just below her printed name. Her date of admission - February 23, 1945. Her date of withdrawal - May 11, 1945.

Membership Cards - Forms 300A and 300B

My grandma and grandpa married on November 30, 1947, shortly after meeting. We were told they met in the hospital - grandpa went to St. Francis Hospital in Poughkeepsie with appendicitis and grandma was his nurse. But we’ve had a hard time piecing together grandma’s time as a nurse, specifically the large gap between when she left the Cadet Nurse Corps and when she would have met grandpa. It’s unlikely she would have finished nursing school and, even if she had, she wasn’t a nurse for very long. After meeting grandpa and deciding to marry, grandma was forced to leave nursing school; marriage was strictly forbidden for nursing students.

That would be the last time grandma worked. Within a year of getting married, she would have her first son, Mike and in 1960, she would give birth to her sixth and last child, Maureen. I have no doubt that grandma used her nursing skills to care for her children. But throughout the years, Grandma transitioned from being a caregiver to needing care herself, experiencing a gradual decline in both mental and physical health due to Huntington's Disease.

It is not unusual for adult children to eventually care for their aging parents. But there is an added complexity and sadness when a child, not yet an adult, steps in as caregiver. I think about my aunts and uncles, ages ten to twenty-two, balancing school and work and for Mike, the war, while at the same time caring for their mom. I think about how this impacted their personalities and their view of the world. I think about how it shaped their parenting styles. And I think, through all of it, did they ever lose site of the fact that their mom was once likened to Florence Nightingale.

1. https://www.nytimes.com/2000/11/11/nyregion/seeking-remembrance-for-wartime-service-women-who-filled-stateside-nursing-gap.html